6 Tips You Need To Know About Your Middle Schooler and Cell Phones
Plus Bonus Resources!
When I began my recent YouTube interview with Pete Sutton, I innocently though it would be about Technology, Tweens, and Teens.
As it turned out, we never even moved past the topic of cell phones. And at that - we only touched the tip of the iceberg. So. Much. To. Explore. 😲
Watch the interview on my YouTube Channel Middle School Mommer by clicking here.
A few quick takeaways from the interview with Pastor of Student Ministries Pete Sutton:
1) When should I get my child a phone? In regard to this popular question, the answer does not have to do with their age. It has to do with each child’s readiness. Have they shown responsibility with things like homework and picking up their room? If they are demonstrating readiness in other areas of their life, that’s an indicator it may be time.
2) The phone is more than just a phone. When you hand your child a phone, remember that it’s not just about being able to talk and text. They now have the capability to access the internet and apps like TikTok, Instagram, Snapchat, and a hundred others. Be aware of what a huge move it is to hand your child this device.
3) There needs to be a training period. Just as you wouldn’t want to just hand over the keys to the car and say “go drive this thing” it’s the same thing with a phone. They need teaching and guidance. If they want an app like Tik Tok, put it on YOUR phone. Track their engagement, teach them if you see improper behavior coming from them.
4) Have no cell phone zones. The dinner table and the car are two good considerations. Also consider keeping devices on the main level. No child needs a phone plugged in right next to their bed - there is nothing so urgent that they need to be contacted immediately.
5) Spend ample time with your child without a device. Otherwise they get absorbed in their digital world and the communication gets cut off. Open communication patterns with your child are key to a healthy relationship that leads to them opening up about other things. In addition, they will likely respond with more respect when you ask them to please get off their device.
6) Draw boundaries for the entire family, not just your child. The #1 thing that teens said in an interview conducted was that they wished their own parents would get off their cell phones. Woah.
It’s healthy for the entire family to unplug for set periods of time - a certain time frame of day...a certain day of the week...perhaps even for an entire week.
Bonus resources:
“The Tech-Wise Family” by Andy Crouch (recommended by Pete in the interview)
“Screens and Teens” by Kathy Koch, Ph.D. (much of her content in general speaks into the effects of technology on tweens and teens)
“SOS! The Technology Guidebook for Parents of Tweens and Teens: Get the Answers You Need, Keep Them Safe and Enjoy Your Kids Again” by Sheryl Gould
“Growing Up Social: Raising Relational Kids in a Screen-Driven World” by Gary Chapman and Arlene Pellicaine
For more suggestions, shop my Digital Downloads on my website at www.middleschoolmommer.com/shop. “10 Must-Have Resources for Middle School Parents” is a great option.
Watch on YouTube now: Tweens & Tech: How To Talk To Your Kids About Cell Phones.