"7 Tips to Transition From Elementary to Middle School" - Transcript

To watch or listen to the YouTube teaching click here.

Hey everybody, I'm Kim Caifano, the Middle School Mommer. Welcome to my channel! If you've not done so yet, please do subscribe for some great content about raising your tween or teen during this stage. Today's topic is transitioning from elementary school into middle school or junior high, or whatever your district calls it. Here are seven tips that I wish somebody had shared with me. And this stems from my own experience, as well as two town halls that I hosted with real life moms and middle school teachers. 

So, the first tip is that you may feel like you are the only one that doesn't know what they're doing. You might show up on locker setup day or orientation night or whatever it is and feel like everybody's got their act together. Trust me, you are not the only one that's trying to sort it all out. There will be a few parents there who have had older children that have already gone through middle school and so they've got it down a little bit. But, you're not the only one and don't be afraid to ask another parent, call the school, email the school, because they're happy to help you. Your child is not in high school, your child is in middle school, so just remember that. I know it's a big leap, but especially middle school administrators are very aware that for us the sixth grade is the transition point. Literally last year they were in elementary school. Just keep that in mind. I also want to share that there are some emotions that will happen. 

Point number two is to expect those emotions to come. I don't say that to scare you, I just say that to prepare you; that's a quote right there. Just do expect that the first couple of weeks they will be getting off the bus either in a bad mood or tired or with anxiety and that's okay. Just be there to listen, be there to help problem solve to the extent that you can, and if it's going on for a really long period of time seek some outside help. Also, know that most schools have a school counselor on hand and so you may want to reach out to them. I know that my son and numerous friends that that was kind of a habit and a way of life for the whole first year of middle school. They just would kind of pop down to the counselor's office and share whatever was going on. So, you might want to get some information on that. I also would say right along with that to plan on the first four to six weeks really consistently checking in with your child and seeing how things are going. They might not outwardly share and there might be a lot of things going on in that lunchroom or even with their locker situation or in the hallway or whatever. I'm going to refer back to another youtube teaching video that I did on getting your tween or teen to open up. It gives some really good points on how to get your tween or teen to actually share. The talking time for them might not be right after school, it might be at a different time. So, just acknowledge that and then acknowledge too when they don't want to talk. If they don't want to talk, they don't want to talk, so just don't press them or you're going to make them feel all the more suppressed. You're also not going to get any information out of them.

 Point number three: it is not too late to update the locker situation. During locker setup day, if you saw that people had a locker shelf or a magnetic cup holder or something that you wish you would have had, it's not too late to email your school. I will say that locker shelves are really huge because if you think about it, the locker is large and to have them just chuck everything right in, that's a hard thing to keep organized. So, email the school, ask for the locker dimensions and every school is different with that. Then, do some research on finding a locker shelf. We just got this mesh shelf for our son and, just so you know, we didn't order it until several months in. 

Which kind of leads into another point for me that I really want to share: one of your biggest roles is to keep your child organized this year. This will be a process that will not take place overnight. It will not take place within a week, or a month, or even a year. Sometimes it's a whole middle school process and that’s kind of what middle school is for. It gets them prepared for high school. Keep observing and help them as much as you can. Order that trapper keeper or accordion folder or whatever. It's often not on the school supply list, so it might just be a purchase that you need to make as a parent to help them stay organized and on task. There are some apps out there, but most of the middle school teachers that I spoke with liked the physical aspect of seeing things in front of them. But, the executive functioning of keeping themselves organized is one of the biggest things that will occur during middle school.

Point number five is to get a grip on who the point people are. This took me a really long time to realize that I should know what's the attendance line so if he's sick or running late or whatever, who do I call? Who's the person or the child's teacher that I'm in touch with? Can I have access to all the teachers, or is there one point person for the whole team? That's a really important thing to get a grip on. The school nurse, especially if your child is on meds and that sort of thing, is an important phone number. If your child has an IEP or any sort of learning assistance then that's another point person. Also, there is the school psychologist which might be a whole nother set of emails and phone numbers. That whole office is a good one to have on hand. 

Point number six: socially one of the best things for them will be to not only understand what clubs and things are offered, but to join them. That's how they're gonna meet people and make new friends. If they’ve only ever been offered sports and music activities and they're not into either of those, well now's their chance to shine. They can join the bowling league, or chess chess club, or the Spanish club, or science club, or coding. I mean there are clubs galore. So, if your child's not coming home with that information, I guarantee it's there. Look on the website and figure it out. Do some digging and see what their thing is. I really encourage you to dive into that.

Finally, stay on your a-game as a parent. Parenting looks a lot different in the middle school years but it's still pretty intensive. I think that's one thing that I did not realize until the very end. I just kind of was like, “oh we'll just send our child off to middle school and everything will be fine.” Instead, I really needed to be more on my a-game in terms of making sure that his homework was handed in and that sort of thing. I was not hovering over everything, but at the same time I was just really checking in both socially and emotionally. Then, just logistically, is he doing everything that he needs to do? Your parenting style changes but the intensity of it does not. It's a different type of parenting. So, those are my seven tips! I really hope that they help you and if you want more I do have a freebie: 16 Insider Tips About Middle School. If you print the colored version, it's much prettier. If you want more than seven tips and you liked a little bit of what I shared, then I have this freebie which is available if you send me a direct message. Currently, it's in my bio on Instagram. It's also available on my Facebook page. Everything is MiddleSchoolMommer. If you would like that, just send me a message and  I'll get it to you. Thank you so much for joining me today and I hope you come back for the next one!